Lost All Hope
by candied ACID
Summary: This is a twilight fanfic written in Charlie's point of view. It takes place throughout Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and after.


**Okay guys, this is a one-shot twilight fic. I had this idea in my head for a few days after I finished Eclipse, and it was just nagging me to write it down. It is basically Charlie's point of view throughout Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse. The end is something i pulled out of my mind. I don't know what will happen in Breaking Dawn, but this is my take on a possibility. I know it's vague and lacks detail in some parts, but that's just how it came out, and when you think about it, Charlie didn't know a whole lot throughout the books anyway. I also know that Jacob isn't in this a lot, and that is simply because I can't sand him, to put it bluntly. This is my fic, right :D? I'm apologizing in advance for any grammatical errors, I am not great with that kind of stuff, but I tried my best to keep it clean. All suggestions and feedback is welcome. I hope you enjoy.**

** Disclaimer: I am not claiming to have written any of the Twilight saga. All characters and general ideas belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer.**

I can't say I didn't love Bella, but I never had the same kind of affection for her as parents normally have for their children. Of course I cared for her, she was my daughter, but my lack of the need to father her always seemed odd to me. Maybe that was because I had seen her very sparingly in the seventeen years since she was born. I wanted to see her more. I wanted to be a good father, but the time never felt right. I would think about it on slow days at work, or sitting at home watching TV. I wanted to call her, even if it was just to see how things were, but I could never muster the courage. I felt that it was too late in her life to try to make things better. I know that was foolish of me, but I never was great at expressing my feelings.

When Bella decided to come live with me in Forks, I was overwhelmed with a number of emotions. Number one – confusion. Why would she want to leave sunny Phoenix to come stay with me in this constantly cloudy, dark, dripping wet little town in Washington? Number two – nervousness. I had never had to be a real father to Bella. Even when she stayed for a week here and there, she always seemed so independent, I really didn't have to do much parenting. But now, things were different. She was coming to live with me indefinitely. I had to reassure myself many times about this. Yes, I was soon going to be living in the same house twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week with a teenage girl. Sometimes it seemed like I was preparing myself to live with a monster rather than my own daughter. Needless to say, I often let my nerves get the best of me. Finally, the last feeling, and the most pleasant was hope; hope that I would finally get the chance to have the meaningful relationship with my daughter that I'd longed to have; hope that this would be a new beginning.

That's exactly what this was for both Bella and I, a new beginning, whether we knew the extremes of it or not.

The short period after Bella arrived was nice for both of us. I realized what a wonderful young lady she had grown up to be, and thanked Renee internally for raising her so well. As time passed, I noticed Bella still had the same characteristics she had as a child, only stronger now. She was as independent as ever and took care of me more than I her, proving my worries wrong. She was still ever so clumsy, the one fault that pained her as a child. However, I also discovered new things about my daughter. She was definitely not like other teenagers. Never a single complaint or whine was uttered from her perfectly polite mouth. She never asked a single thing of me. She was always on time; always had a handle on everything. Her homework was done promptly, and dinner was always on time. She was the perfect daughter.

One thing that worried me about Bella, however, was that she didn't seem to be too social. Until I had asked her, she never mentioned any friends from school. She gave me a few names, but I knew that these people weren't of importance. I didn't pressure her though. I was afraid to mess up our budding father-daughter relationship by letting her on to my doubts. So I kept my mouth shut in hopes that she was just taking extra time to settle in to a new school, and that she would find her clique soon enough.

After a while, Bella began acting different. There were subtle changes in her behavior, however, just enough for me to notice. There were too many "sure, dads" and "okays" as if her mind was somewhere else. She began going to bed earlier, always with a legitimate excuse of having a lot of homework. Oh, and I can't forget the extra pink in her cheeks, or the extra skip in her step. Yes, I knew something was up. If only I had more experience with being around girls, maybe I would have known exactly what it was: love.

I had asked Bella a few times before if she was interested in any boys from school, but every time she would tell me no. So when she told me that she had a boyfriend, I was caught a little off guard. I immediately thought of Mike Newton. He was a nice kid, and surely someone who could make Bella happy. But no, Bella's boyfriend was not

Mike, but someone totally opposite. Edward Cullen. That name was familiar. It took me a few seconds to place the name to the face, but eventually Dr. Carlisle came to mind. He was such a nice man; surely his kid would be great for Bella, although there was something strange about that whole family. I didn't dare mention that to Bella, though.

Later that night I got to meet this Edward. I could see then why Bella would be acting so funny since she had met him. He was perfection in the form of a seventeen-year old boy. I couldn't help but get a strange feeling as he entered the house. Maybe it was because of his chalk-white skin, or the exactness with which he took every step, spoke every word. There was definitely something very strange about Edward. It wasn't till much later that I would find the extent to this strangeness.

Every waking moment was spent with Edward. It occurred to me that my daughter's relationship with him was much more mature than most teenage flings. In fact, it was more mature than most marriages. The way they looked at each other, not with passion, but with such profound love, gave me chills. Edward watched over he ever step with such intensity. He examined her every move, seeming to enjoy just observing the way she walked. When they thought I wasn't looking, she would cling to him as if she needed to savor every second they had together, and he would hold her ever so gently as if he feared breaking her. But Bella was happy, and that's what I wanted most for her.

After a while, though, Bella suddenly started becoming very nervous looking and worried. It seemed as if there was a knife hanging over her head at all times. I wondered if her and Edward were having problems. Then one night she came running in the house from a night out with him, tears streaming down her face. She ran to her room and packed her things quickly. I tried to ask her what was wrong, I had a strong feeling Edward had dumped her, but she claimed the opposite. I begged her to tell me why she had broken up with him. The response I got, however, was not what I expected. Her words were like venom, too difficult to think of to this day. I stared at her from the doorstep for what I believed would be the last time as she ran to her truck.

Days later, I got news that Bella had had an accident in Phoenix. I was told she had agreed to meet Edward at a hotel, but she tripped on the stairs and had gotten seriously hurt. Thankfully she was recovering, and was coming back to Forks after being released from the hospital. After everything she had said, I wondered why she wanted to come back.

I never felt the same for Edward after that. Although I knew he wasn't directly responsible for what happened to Bella, I still blamed him. I think I knew inside that in some way, something about him had caused this to happen, and that more tragedy was to transpire from his relationship with my daughter.

Months passed and so did Bella's eighteenth birthday. But with it came a strong feeling of tension between Edward and her. Feelings were changing and I feared that their relationship might be coming to an end, though I would never have mentioned that to Bella. One evening she didn't come home for dinner. It was so unlike her to not call or leave a note. The day wore past and still she didn't return. Finally, a search party was sent out to look for her. They found her in the woods alone in a state of utter despair. Edward had left her out there. He had broken up with her and abandoned her without another thought.

Bella was never the same after Edward and his family moved away. She was in a constant fog. She wasn't eating. She lost all color. She wouldn't talk unless I engaged her. But the worst were the nightmares. Nearly every night she would be pulled from dreams that haunted her and caused her to scream like nothing I'd ever heard before. I worried that my Bella, the daughter I had come to love so much would never get over the loss of her first boyfriend. And that's what bothered me so much. Edward was her first, and I believed her last. I was desperate to find something to bring some kind of meaning back into her life.

I had no idea that my best friend's son would be that shining light. As soon as he and Bella began getting close, I could see a change in her. She seemed a little less depressed, a little less lifeless. I thanked god every day for Jacob. Bella continued to become happier, but I could tell she was still filled with terrible grief and longing for Edward. I couldn't imagine why she wanted the boy who had ripped her heart out back in her life; the same boy that I had grown to hate.

As time passed I began to see more than just friendship blossoming between Bella and Jacob. I was happy for her. I thought Jacob would be just right for her after that other guy. But Bella denied it fiercely. "We're only friends," she would claim at the slightest notion of them being more than that. I didn't pressure her though. I wouldn't dare threaten her very fragile, but growing state of happiness.

Then one day Alice Cullen, that sweet girl, showed up at our house. I was happy to see her, but worried at the effect it would have on Bella after she left. I didn't want my daughter to have to go through that torture again. As Bella slept, I told Alice about how she had suffered after her brother had left. I described the horrid state Edward had left her in, and hoped that she was the only Cullen coming back to visit. I truly had missed Alice.

Shortly after I left for the funeral of my good friend Harry Clearwater's. On returning, I found a quickly scribbled note Bella had left near the phone. The message was vague, only saying that Edward was in trouble and that she would be back.

I worried and worried for three long, torturous days, but finally, Bella returned; only she brought Edward back with her. I was furious, more out of bewilderment than anger. Where did he get the nerve to come back? Or better, why would she take him back? However much I wanted to deny it, I did see a great amount of relief on Edward's face as he held my daughter tightly against his colorless body. This only confused me more. I wondered why he acted in this way when _he_ was the one to leave _her_.

I never did get a full explanation of where Bella was those three days, or what this so called emergency was. It only added to the list of odd things that I noticed about Edward Cullen. Which, in turn, only added to the nagging sensation in the back of my head that was telling me something was not right.

Edward was back in Bella's life, whether I liked it or not. The good part was that I got to see my daughter be truly happy again. The joy in her life had returned. The bad part was I would always be in fear that Edward would do what he did again. Was he capable of breaking my Bella again? Would he leave and take her heart and spirit with him one more time? I knew for a fact Bella wouldn't be able to make it through that one more time.

The months passed and Bella and Edward became closer than ever. I could see the love between them in every move Bella made. It was obvious that there was something special between my daughter and Edward, even if I didn't agree with it. Since he had returned, Edward never left Bella's side. They were together so much that I worried about her social life outside of him. I urged her to make plans with her other friends before she graduated. I reminded her of how Jacob had saved her during that black time of her life, and wondered if she felt like she owed him something. I know I did. Being the complacent daughter that she was, Bella agreed, but I could tell she would much rather just be with Edward.

As much as I doubted it, Bella did end up making plans with Jacob. I was surprised Edward let her hang around him, he seemed like the jealous type. I was beginning to think that maybe I had misjudged Edward. He didn't seem so horrible to me any more. I didn't dread his company as I once did. And it really amazed me the way he looked after Bella so carefully; always the responsible young man. I knew I had nothing to worry about when she left home with him. With Edward at her side, Bella was in no danger. I admitted to myself, he was growing on me.

Shortly after Bella's graduation I began to sense there would be a big change coming. I was right, though I didn't know the details of it. After I had gotten home from a slow day at work. Bella was at home waiting for me on the couch. I thought to myself that it was unusual because she would normally be over the Cullen's house. I could tell something was up by the look on her face. As I slowly approached her I noticed the large ring ornamented with diamonds that was perched on her finger. I got a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach and I knew that this was the change I had expected. She was going to marry Edward. They were going to move away on their own and go to college together, or that's what she told me. I was speechless. Was this really what she wanted? I would do anything to make her happy and I knew at that moment that the one piece of happiness I could give her would be my blessing. So I sucked it up, and put on a happy face, but only for Bella.

The wedding finally came, and through all the excitement, I could still sense a feeling of secrecy and strangeness. I walked Bella down the isle to her awaiting fiancé. And when Edward took her hand, and I released mine, I was overcome with a feeling of loss. I knew that I had just given my daughter away, and things would never be the same after that day.

The wedding was extravagant, of course, but nice, too. The Cullens were as genuine and kind as ever, and welcomed me to the family with open arms. However, as charming as they were, I still felt as though I didn't belong. I would never reveal that to anyone, though. Instead I tried to look as happy as everyone else in attendance and braved the reception with the hope that my intuition was wrong. If only that were true.

After Edward and Bella returned from their honeymoon on some island I couldn't even pronounce, they left again for the final time. Bella's room, once filled with her modest belongings was emptied and the contents shipped to Alaska where they would be attending college. The house became a bleak desolate place, and I dreaded coming home. For that week after they left, my life consisted of work and watching television. That is exactly what I was doing that night when I heard a knock at the front door. Jacob Black was at my house for reasons undetermined. I welcomed him in eagerly, although I was slightly taken aback by his enormous stature, and the look of torture upon his face. As soon as he entered my living room, which he all but filled up, he began telling me a shocking story about the monsters that inhabited Forks, and where my daughter really was. I didn't want to believe a word he said, but it fit. I now had a reason for all of the strange feelings I got. I now had answers for the questions nagging my brain. I now knew my daughter married a vampire, and was not attending college, but being transformed into the very monster she was in love with.

I tried everything I could to stop Bella's inevitable fate. I called the Cullen's house, knowing there would be no answer. I drove for hours trying to find their old home that I knew would be empty. I contacted the University of Alaska only to find that they had no record of Bella ever applying to their school. I cut everyone I once loved out of my life. I was desperate to find my daughter, and nothing would stop me. I searched fruitlessly for years, and one day it hit me like a brick in the face: I was never going to find her. I was completely emptied of the hope I once had. The Cullens had taken my daughter away from me, and I would never see her again.

That was thirty-five years ago. I am now an old man, still living alone in the small town of Forks. I never saw or heard of my daughter after that, but at night I still get the feeling that she's around. When I lie in bed and see a shadow flicker across the wall almost to fast for me catch, I wonder if that's my Bella coming to check on me. The Bella I once loved.


End file.
